My troubles set my already troubled mind down a dim road.
They pile on, unforgiving in their weight.
One by one I hold a box before me, revealing its contents with the pleasure a girl might have opening her closet to check for monsters.
I try to make sense of them, because I am a thinker.
Sorting out the why’s, the because.
Searching for an answer, a semblance of a reason this box is here.
I am too slow in my goings, the progress I make seems but a single page from a book, where there is little hope in understanding the entire story.
But I must make sense of it, because I am a thinker.
Oh how I wish things were easier done than said, than thought.
If they were maybe I would burn my troubles to the ground.
Would I be free of the weight then or would I remain trapped to the ashes left
in its wake?
The humor of it seems I am both wary of action and inaction.
I fight for the sanity of my rationality knowing my mind is both lock and key, with the power to free and the power to cripple.
A balance of both, a lesson in each, I surrender to the acceptance of the weight.
I carry them now in the hopes that someday I will have the strength to light the match, scattering the ashes with a lasting breath of air.
My mind settles and I am free.
Because I am a thinker.
I have always been told: “You’re a thinker.”
I always thought it was a good thing, but I’ve come to realize sometimes you just need to act.
I write this after having lost an opportunity because of my lack of action. Have you ever lost something because you did nothing, were waiting for a better moment? Could you see the opportunities laid out before you but didn’t act because you were afraid of failure?
Most of us struggle with this. It’s a fight we must win against our own mind telling us to hide. We do not realize it in that moment of uncertainty, but there is nothing to hide from. Sometimes we need to release ourselves from the pressure of overthinking things, from searching for every possibility. Break through that barrier because it’s holding you back from life and unimaginable experiences.
Our mind can be our cripple but it can also be our greatest strength.
Conquer it and you will conquer fear!